Saturday, May 31, 2008
hmm.
these few days..weather forecast quite soothing.
but its only very nice whn u're alone=)
spent tis few weeks on slacking at home.
band prac. sectionals. late for piano class. watch shows.
wad else..
ah..
of cuz missing everyone tt could be missed.
sister, bro, hannah, my skss band mates.
yup.
i missed them
was thinking their korea trip is on which date.
and i jus realize if they were to go on NOV, i jus start my school after break since 2nd sem.
hopefully its only 1week and hopefully don have UT. -.-
recently discussed with a friend abt oversea studies.
yea.
i haven decide on which school.
i'm sort of blur with the administration stuff.
ya, i'm an idiot abt it.
hmm.
uni of vienna must learn German, and e admission for international students nvr state.
Degree: Music Science
?? wadz tt..
the other uni.s quite standard.
Music (performing)
just need to pass audition.
+ grade 8 practical and theory
As for my academy results here. not so sure about it.
I guess have to take national english test.
and score or a certain mark, then will i able to prove my language skills in sufficient there.
If i were to go UK, london.
Most likely my sister would join me, since she finish her uni by tt time at NZ.
Anyway, i'm still confuse abt uni of vienna.
thou its still quite early to make decision.
But i still want to give some thot to it.
Hopefully will pass with merit for sept exam, then do not hav 2 retake.
So far, all the 3 pieces, my last piece is almost done-jus need some polishing.
my 2nd piece needs loads of polishing. my hands are still tt stiff.
the worse is e 1st piece. i still haven settle e 3rd page of it. 1st and 2nd page needs loads of polishing too.
In all, the pieces are emotionless. so i need to work hard on that. the tone and touch somewhat improve whn i don think so much and deep abt it.
the worst is .....
scales and arpeggios.
for now. CMI.
major.minor.harmonic.melodic.*done
3rd apart*done
6th apart`not done
in thirds`not done
Chromatic 3rd apart`not done
chromatic minor third`not done
arpeggios root,1st and 2nd inversion`not done
arpeggios dominant 7th`not done
arpeggios diminished 7th`not done
all of it. the worst is chormatic(s) and arpeggios.
now till exam. is about 2 months!! die.
die.die.die.die.
tis june holidays.thou only 2 weeks.
hopefully i can settle the 2nd piece and 1st piece at least.
e rest of the 1 month its drilling of scales.argeggios.aural
sight reading should be passable for me.
thou i cock up sometimes.
i shall keep my word and do prac.
tmr morning??
monday 930am got class.
tue-fri will have band camp.
sat will hav class again. 1pm
for 2 weeks it will remain.
till school reopens.
9:07 PM
Monday, May 12, 2008
SABO-ED by JOYCE_LiminRULES: Remove one question from below and add one of your question make it a total of 20 qns, then sabo 8 ppl
1) where would you like to go for your honeymoon?
Tour around Europe!
2) what do you want the most now?
Get all my certificates done!
3) who is the person you trust most?
my dearest frens, my sisters, n some human on earth
4) who do you think in mind now?
some human on earth=)
5) if you have a dream to come true, wad is it?
i wanna become a professional re known performer, musician!
6) Wad is your goal for this yr?
get my grade 8 prac done, well!
7) do u believe in eternity love?
of course ^^
8) have you ever broke a person's heart that he/she wanna commit suicide?
yes i broke a person's heart, but nvr wanna commit suicide,
who's so stupid?
9) wad kinda feelings of you like most?
whn off 2 dreamland tgt wid ur love>.<
10) wad are the requirements from ur other half?
hav a space for me in his heart,
so no matter wad he'll hav me in his mind>.<
11) wad kinda feelings you hate most?
make loads of noise whn i'm prac piano,
make loads of noise whn i'm soundly aslp!!
12) do you cherish every friendship of yours?
of cuz i do,
but sometimes some friendship are not worth to cherish..
13) is there any1 you can't live without?
yes, some human on earth =)
14) wad's e most important thing in ur life?
music, without it i'm nothing,
it kept me alive till now and death
15) who do u hope to be there for u always?
some human on earth,
true frens and family will always be there for you=)
16) who are important to you?
my loved ones^^
17) who cares for u the most?
my family n frens.
18) do u believe in rainbow after rain?
of cuz, i've seen loads of gorgeous ones!
19) do u think fate control you or u control fate?
if u let fate control u, u're a loser
20) wad is love to you?
an essential part of my present life tat makes it colorful^^
Lastly...
needa sabo ppl...
hiahiahia..
1)girlfren_hannah han
2)buddy_wayne tan weiwei
3)girlfren_ qi
4)girlfren_phylis
5)diva wannabe_khim
6)caring_shiqi
7)siaozhabo_lizaan
8) laughy_keryn
8:30 AM
Sunday, May 11, 2008
happy mothers' day!
ok ya...today is mothers day..
so far only 1 person 4got abt it...
my mum..
she 4got today is her day...
hahhas
so i bake a cake for her...
tgt wid my maid's help nah...
its a strawberry cheese cake...
heehees..
the crust of the cheesecake,
made with RITZ biscuit
mixture of cheese,flour,eggs,sugar,vanilla essence,sour cream
onto the crust
ready for bake at the oven..
after 45mins of 165°c
here comes the cheese cake^^
next is the toppings,
strawberry cheesecake of cuz muz hav strawberry taste,
topped with strawberry jam ;D
TA DA!
topped with fresh strawberries!
Results:
Nice!
not i say de, my family say de..=)
Wish all mothers happy mothers day!
7:39 PM
Saturday, May 10, 2008
now i finally know why my email add suites me so much...cuz problems are nvr ending...-.-
they always come in a big bunch and make you think like crazy..
thn after tt you feel you're not happy, so you will try to tell yourself
"aiya, so sad for wad, be happy is a better choice, and face e problem slowly norh"
always like that..
when you see something tt makes your emotions evoke...
be it angry sad jealousy... bla bla bla,
you always turn to yourself and say
"nah, i will 4get it in a few days time, no point make myself suffer=)"
hmmm...
quite random norh..
i oso dunu wad i doing nah...
today gotta prepare strawberry cheese cake for mum..
should cam whore abit, post it tmr...
wahhahas..
i go prac piano le...
improving bit by bit....
hais jiayou bah...
3:50 PM
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
relax
i should really try 2 relax...i din go for piano lesson todaypartly cuz no time already, reach there plus another 30mins thn lesson will endso no point osoi emailed my teacher telling her e reason y i'm missing these 2 weeks of lessonand i sms her 2 inform her i cant come n tell her abt e emailso she called me..ask me 'why? wad happen?'so my tears begin again...i told her i'm tired...and i din improve much...i got prac, but hard 2 find time wid my schedule..she said, slowly..'you must prac the notes and rhythm correctly and fluently with both hands first''these already need some time, cuz there're always some parts where more prac is needed'after can play fluently then will come in the feel everything...go into detail...i'm glad she said these to me..and i've 2 weeks more 2 prac...this week and nxt week...thank you.....oso muz thank my sis-april, and my fren shiqi for concerning and consoling me..i guess i'm tired...=)ya, i need to relax and i need to rest...till i rest enough then i will recover mentally and physically i guessthe current me, sitting infront of a screen, i think i'm damn pathetic..not enough slp, not enough rest...cant do anything at all...except blindly to try and get the feel while prac piano..relax....relax...relax...guess i'm jus too tense up.
6:16 PM
=.=
uuhh..couldnt wake up today..woke up 2 pee at 4am..thn continue to slp.e next moment i woke up, its already 10.10ameyes were alil' swollen..skip school today..againi skipped art critic and photography 3 times already...its not tt i don like photography class.but it happens 2 on a wed whn i'm always so worried abt piano lessons later.i prac my piano...i tried 2 feel the music...i din look at e score..but i still cant..why...why...why...I.. ....hais...dunu wad 2 sae...still got a few hrs b4 i should prepare 2 go lesson...how i wish it's still morning...
1:07 PM
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
depress
i cried... all the way from i sat down in e bus..
till i got alight..
i continued whn i got home after start replying a fren's abt how i felt.
好痛苦
i felt so lost..
i dunu any direction..
WHY!!
why do i play e piano for??
i play now is for e sake of taking the exam in sept.
whereby my teacher see tat i would fail...
she see it coming...
i wanna feel it!
i wanna feel e beauty of piano..
i wanna feel e beauty of music...
how shld i continue?
i cant play it well, cant get e feel..
i msn-ed wid my fren, e same one, as well as cpt yusri..
i feel these 2 ppl could help me...
my fren said "once you take music seriously, you 4get all e simple pleasure you once had"
i wanna tke it seriously..
i respect it..
respect my love for it.
but somehow i 4got wad is e pleasure i got from playing piano..
i said i dunu wad is gd music perhaps.
i dunu how 2 diff gd tone n bad tone on piano.
my touch is wrong
my feel is wrong
wrong wrong and wrong...
i asked will listening to bad music "de-prove" yourself,
i was answered " you hav 2 learn to live in this environment where not every1 is as gd"
also, mayb i hav 2 get e idea 2 myself tt nt everywhere i can b as gd..
i jus hav 2 try 2 be gd or better.
no need 2 force myself.
i seriously don wanna fail this exam..
i hav nvr failed ABRSM exam b4.
[calm down]
my natural tap from my eyes hav nvr stop since i start e msg 2 my fren till now..
it lasted for an hr plus...
i guess i ran out of tears..
really tired..
this kinda feeling of lost...
no1 can understand...
i guess i'll jus try my best..
nitez loves..
11:25 PM
Sunday, May 04, 2008
alil' bit of idea
after watching some episodes of Nodame Cantabile, i got something new again.
Previously i watch it, i gain more passion for piano...
Now i watch it. i gain a little something more...
this something is called the gd ears.
i need to have these gd ears in order to enjoy my music.
i need to expect more of the music my ears are going to listen...
there will soon be no more "acceptable", "so-so", "ok lah"
there will be only nice, beautiful, pleasant music...
i'm the one who chooses the music that i want to listen, and i shall filter out wad is unessential to my ears...
although my band is very young, i hav 2 tolerate it and forgive, but that doesnt giv it an excuse to filter out bad music too...correct?? yea...
besides having gd ears...
i oso think the feel is very important.
of cuz 1st and foremost you have to know your notes b4 any other steps is taken..
after knowing the notes the 2nd thing is the feel...
composers may forget to write down dynamics oso...
they play as they feel and feel as they play...
you don feel the piece is trying to convey, you're jus playing piano...
jus like singing...
you know the words,
but if you dunu the feel that you wanna express...
or you never express the feel,
you're jus merely singing...
which waste your melodious voice...
so if i neglect the feel of the piece,
i'm wasting the melodious, full, fat tone that my piano can produce...
i admit that was really a good piano
but i still think i'm wasting it...
many ppl ask me not 2 b sad, don emo...bla bla bla...
u all don understand...
if i wanna go overseas study,
this is e min. i shld expect myself 2 think abt it...
i don wanna go there aiya jus tke a degree thn 4get it...
i want ppl there 2 remember me, this small girl who travelled all e way from singapore to learn there and she's great...
jus by knowing how 2 play those instruments is nth....
by play them wid understanding is a different thing...
b'cuz besides these, i dunu anything at all, i've no skill..
tts y i always say 'being a professional is wad i want, wad i've always dream of, and i want it 2 come true'
3:48 AM
Thursday, May 01, 2008
lost.
i really feel very lost.seems like my motivation lost its way.
do not know which direction am i heading towards.
too many areas to concentrate.
studies. modules. test. band. competition. Gloriosa. piano. grade8. .....
i really feel heavy on me..
i'm gd at nothing.
of so many concentrations i must have, i'm good at nothing.
my grades in school are nothing compared to others.
my tests are nothing compared to others.
my skills of flute in band is nothing compared to others.
i do not want to have competition. it always nervous me.
my piano skills are nothing compared to others.
what more to say about grade 8 exam.
i've once said i would go overseas to study music, my passion since childhood.
now i'm thinking i'm not really gd at it.
but without it i'm useless. worthless.
i lost my motivation in piano.
i find it no meaning to have this exam, that's the reason why i always skip my lessons and find excuses. wasting the money and efforts of my parents.
my techniques are no good.
but someone said, focus no techniques but feel...
i wonder if that will work..
someone asked why do you play the piano for?
i wonder..
i still haven find the answer...
help me..
10:51 PM
